julia

Good news this week, the biposy was negative and not cancerous.  So I have to give up my excuse for Starbucks.

I have to run but I wanted people to know.

Well, I think I may have found a motivator.

I went to the dentist for routine work and they ended up doing a biopsy.  It could be nothing, but it bothered the dentist enough to check.

Given that I have already had cancer, this is a bit scary.  So I need to get as healthy as possible ASAP. Just in case.

I haven’t been posting ’cause I haven’t been paying that much attention to my health.  I have been really slacking about walking, and have been eating ‘treats’.  And the bad habits, they are creeping back.  Wine. Starbucks. etc. 
I don’t know what I weigh ’cause I have haven’t weighed myself lately. I’m sure I’m up a few pounds.

How does one come so close to her goal and then give up?  There isn’t a good psychological reason. I don’t have any issues. The reason is, I’m lazy and I don’t really care.  I got down to fitting in my jeans and clothes. I didn’t get all the stuff that sometimes hangs over my pants gone, but no one even sees that. I don’t wear shirts that show my belly.  Given the choice, I would rather play computer than exercise.

 Today is Dawn’s birthday, and Happy Birthday to Dawn.  Way back in January, I said I would use this date to get to my goal. And now it seems I am thinner, but have the same attitude that got me fat.  So I need to get back in line.

 Its funny, part of me thinks ‘I know how to loose weight now, so I’ll do it later.’. I felt this when I quit smoking, after a week I would think ‘ok, I know how to quit, so I can go back to smoking and quit later’.  

 I am going to go for a walk today. And I’m going to try to go every day this week. That’s my only goals.  Perhaps walking daily will help me get motivated.

Hi buds,
  I’m still around, I do some reading but not so much posting.   Abengelyne Janis got it totally right with “There are just times you don’t want to think or talk about weight loss and just do what you’re doing right and talk about other things.  I never wanted to be one of those people that obsessed over everything I did or ate or watched everything I did.  After these things come naturally, I just want to be….well….ME I guess.” 
  And that’s where I’m at. Its just not in my personality to focus so much on myself. Which is probably why I got flabby and fat in the first place! 
 But, I need to make good habits and take the last little bit of weight off. I’m still maintaining and not loosing. MUST GET MORE SERIOUS.  I”m hoping caps will help.
  I bought more oatmeal. The large Quaker oats size, a reasonable amount of servings.
  Have to go drive hubby to the train…

Way back when I started my weight loss journey for real (Jan), I bought a HUGE box of oatmeal from Smart & Final, a restaurant-supply store.  One of these stores that sells everything large, so the box didn’t look that big in the store. But when I brought it home I saw that it was 100 servings. I have been eating my way through it for months.  1/2 cup oatmeal, water, handful of raisins, ~ 160 calories for a filling meal.  Everyday I ate oatmeal (almost).  The pounds came off. 
 
And this week, I am going to finish the box. I got my $7 worth! 

I did a talkshoe show this morning if you’re interested in hearing my voice. Its about 15 minutes, I was interviewed about some of the charity stuff I do online.
Its here if you want to listen
http://www.talkshoe.com/talkshoe/web/talkCast.jsp?masterId=22062&talkCastId=22062
its the show ‘make the world a little better in 15 minutes’.

It was REALLY weird hearing my voice. I heard a Canadian accent!

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

Things have been trying for me this week.  The contractors are STILL here, and the 3 day job has turned into 2 weeks.  Its partly my fault, when they took away a bush we saw that the fence was really broken, so instead of them replacing the gate they replaced the entire fence (adding a few days). Things look GREAT around here. They have taken away an entire dumpster of stuff, including the old jacuzzi, a few bushes, vines that were growing up the wall and destroying it, etc…  I have had a huge pile of crap infront of my house for days, and people around, and its tiresome.  But today is the last day. Really, they are almost done now.
  It has totally disrupted my schedule, I don’t want to go walking or do excercise when they are around. 

  And to top it all off, my allergies are still really bad.  My choices are to go out and be miserable, or stay home and do drugs (sudafed) and be ok but unable to drive far. So I have been cancelling apts which is not good. I’m still working (I can do that from home). I am trying really hard not to get all the crap (flem, etc if you want details) from getting infected, so that means lots of Sudafed to keep it low.  I love sudafed.  Makes me nice and happy too And a bit loopy, which isn’t the best for my job. But what can I do? I also find the allergies/drugs make me not care about excersising.  Not good.

I didn’t get on the scales on Monday, I took all 4 cats to the vet for the yearly check up and that was traumatic enough. I think I am up on my weight. I still look dam good in my skinny jeans though. But that bulge is still coming over my pants…

This weekend, I am cleaning up around here and going to make it NOT look like a construction zone. Then its back on track with walking and weights.

Oh, a great thing - the other night my husband was figuring out his daily calories (in his head) while he was deciding what to eat for dinner.  So he’s been really thinking about it all.  He decided years ago that he was never going to change pant size, he’s a 34 and will stay that way. But lately his pants have been a bit tight, and I have sewn on a few buttons. But that system works for him, he knows when he needs to start loosing.

Have a good friday and great weekend.
and if you have time, check out www.kiva.org.  Its my new obsession and I think its really going to change the world.

Well I tried to not have a mini-goal, but it seems you need one and it has to be higher than your weight goal. So I have a silly mini-goal.

 I don’t know what my goal is anymore.  I thought 150 ’cause that’s the number I can remember being 20 years ago. I realized it may not be reflective of anything. I actually thought I wouldn’t get down this far.

But, I still have fat around my stomach and thighs.  I think its more than 4 pounds. Some of it might be skin. I don’t know.

My husband is a bit concerned and asked me how ‘low’ I would go. I don’t know why he thinks I’ll become anorexic now, I”m a little old to develop it now. And given that I’m thinking about the chocolate cake from Nanos that I said I would have till I lost the weight or May, I’m thinking anorexia won’t be an issue with me.

 But what is my goal?  I don’t really care what the numbers are, I am more interested now in getting that roll gone.  So I think I’ll take some measurements today and start recording that, and using that as incentive. And my weight can do what it wants, it if goes higher as I develop muscle, fine.  How’s that sound to people?

 I have to get back to exercise. I have been laying low due to my illness, and boy am I flabby!

I’ve been meaning to do this post for a while, and now seems like a really good time.

 Here are some of my reasons why I think BuddySlim works.  At least why it has worked for me, for the first time in 20 years I have stayed on my diet and am finally almost at my ideal weight.

BuddySlim works because is it full of very nice, kind, supportive people who all have the same goal.  Even though we can’t see each other, we read and comment on each other’s blogs, send emails and boosters, and discuss on the forum.  Your Buddys become your friends, and its like a big family where even your non official buddies comment on your blogs and you comment on theirs. 

    Its a type of relationship you can’t form with your ‘regular’ friends.   I don’t get to see my ‘live’ friends enough, and the last thing I want to do is discuss how much oatmeal I ate.  But here at BuddySlim I can blog what I want and my buddies can read it or not or comment or not.  And, unlike a ‘live’ friend, BuddySlim is there exactly when I need it. I don’t have to wait for the right time.  BuddySlim fits perfectly into my chaotic schedule.

 I have told my husband several times what a wonderful atmosphere Buddyslim is.  I specifically said things like “Everyone seems to go out of their way to be nice and not say anything that might be taken out of context. There isn’t the passive aggressiveness you see on other internet sites, people are rarely negative at all.  Occasionally you see some an ‘accountable’ comment that might seem a bit harsh, but its always couched in loving terms and totally in the person’s best interest, since it is the main reason we are here. To lose weight.  But everything else said is so nice and everyone seems to make a point not to come close to stepping on toes.  I’ve even had some people email me ‘explaining’ their comment in case I took it the wrong way. Which I never do, ’cause my buddies here at BuddySlim are all so nice and I know never mean any harm.”

So I would like to thank all my Buddies here on BuddySlim for being here and being so supportive and helping me lose weight and get fit.  And thanks for the future, ’cause I’m not done yet.

 Still have more oatmeal and Brussels Sprouts to eat.

Well I lost 4 pounds last week and my tracker yelled at me this morning saying it was too much. Yah, I know. Totally unhealthy, I was sick.

My hubby, by the way, was wonderful. He did all the chores yesterday including mine, and got mad when I tried to do simple things like fold clothes.  He brought me juice (75% watered down, just the way I like it).  He’s so wonderful.

I am feeling much better today. I didn’t have fever yesterday. I have a dentist apt. today which won’t be pleasant, but I don’t want to postpone it.   We hired some people to put up a shed (including the concrete) and remove a bunch of stuff around here (like an old jacuzzi that I haven’t used in years). They will be around for 3 days creating chaos, but I will just have to deal. It will be so nice to have all the crap gone, and we can start designing our landscape. We want to go with plants that are natural for this area, i.e. cactus and succulants.  In the back I want to set up some ‘watered’ areas for veggetables, and we want to make an outdoor pizza oven/firepit.  I also want a big platform so I can use my solar oven more, it works great in California but I have to move it now ’cause my backyard is shady.

Sorry for all the blabbing. I haven’t been out much lately, can you tell?
Have a great Monday all.